Labor and Delivery: a special birthday

Our baby boy is finally here!

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Julian Zander Hernandez

Born 11/2/13 at 3:00 a.m.

7lbs. 12 oz.

20.25 in.

The labor journey…

began on Friday Nov. 1st. I woke up and as I was walking around the house I felt a trickle. My water had broken, or so I thought. This pregnancy I came out positive for GBS. I had to go directly to the hospital the moment I suspected my water had broken, so I didn’t put the baby at risk and they could put me on antibiotics. At around 10 am my husband took me to the hospital with absolutely no pain, just the suspicion of my water breaking.

Rewind to Wednesday… I had an appointment with my midwife and there she did a sweeping of the membranes, where she “swept” a finger around my cervix to separate the membranes of the amniotic sac. This releases a hormone and there is a possibility of going into labor. The exam was pretty much like any internal examination, when it came to pain. I went home with some cramping but that was it. During the next days I kept discharging my mucus plug.

Thursday… I took my son trick or treating downtown and did a lot of walking! That night my friends, who had come to spend some days with me in case I went into labor, my son and I had a little dance party. We danced and I even attempted to twerk all in efforts to induce labor.

Back to Friday… My midwife arrived and she did a strip test, inconclusive. She did a vaginal check and she saw water alright. Results, negative for amniotic fluid. She wanted to be 99.9% sure before she sent me back home. Now, during all of this I wasn’t feeling any strong contractions, and the ones I was feeling were about 6 minutes apart. She ran a third test and sent it to the lab and we had to wait. The tests came back negative and we were sent back home. It ended up being very watery mucus plug. It fooled me and it also fooled my midwife.

My friend who was watching my son stayed and we even had dinner and chatted. I had contractions but they weren’t consistent. Then, around 10pm BAM! I felt a really strong contraction. I thought it was still Braxton Hicks so like all the other ones, I tested it out by hopping in the shower. I wasn’t even in the shower when BAM! Another one. Three minutes had passed and BAM! 3 minutes later BAM! it went on pretty much like that for a while and I new I was in labor. We immediately rushed to the hospital.

Checking in

We arrived at the hospital around 11:20pm and they put the monitors and contractions were getting stronger and stronger. They were now about 2 1/2 minutes apart. My midwife came in and checked me. I was 6cm dilated and 90% effaced. It was all happening so fast, but I did want to have this baby and it was sure beating my first labor of 22 hours!

I was very relaxed and would even joke around between contractions, to why the nurses were very surprised when I asked for the epidural. I wanted it so badly even before I went into labor. I just wanted to be numbed from my waist down. I had endured all that pelvic and hip pain during pregnancy that it hurt more to move around and the contractions were not overpowering it. I was feeling both. I am not trying to prove anything and I don’t need to play strong. I have endured an 18hour labor without pain medication. This second time around, I wanted the epidural and I got it.

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Yay for the epidural!

I had my IV, antibiotics, epidural and I was set to wait, maybe even sleep a little. Well, there was no time for that. I got checked around 1:30 a.m. and I was 8cm dilated. I felt a lot of pressure and the epidural was wearing off quickly. I didn’t ask for another dose and was fine with having feeling. I was checked and I was 10cm and felt even more pressure. At around 2:45 a.m. They broke my water, which turned out to be like one of those water shows. TMI but it was really cool. There could have been a possibility of baby being born in the bag and it is said to be very very lucky! But we wanted to have that baby now. With only a couple of pushes baby was born at exactly 3 a.m.

Within minutes I breast fed my baby for the first time and I was one happy mother! I got to hold my baby for more than an hour skin to skin, breastfeeding and feeling him while my husband and I flourished our miracle. I had other feelings that were dwelling inside of me too, realizing the day this miracle took place.

Special Birthday

My son was born on November 2nd, the same day as my estranged father. Knowing that my son was born on the same day as the father that pushed me out of his life less than a year ago for the 2nd time, filled me with many emotions. He wasn’t there for my first pregnancy and wasn’t there for this one either. My oldest son has his nose and a lot of his physical characteristics and now my youngest shares his birthday. I don’t know if this is karma, a life lesson, nor do I know to whom the universe talks.

For many years, even before my parents’ divorce, I sought a relationship with my father but his harmful words and both of our prides would make it nearly impossible. Sure, we had some great moments, but I am also the oldest, therefore I remember more than my siblings. I remember his drinking, his insults and the way he treated my mom, the physical violence and his double personality.

With others my father was an awesome person, I will never say otherwise. He was a funny man, loved to be in social events and made everyone laugh. People would always say how lucky we were to have such a fun dad. At home, we didn’t get the funny man everyone saw. We got a man who would throw it in our face each meal he bought, the roof he gave us, the gas he wasted driving us around and how we got in the way of his financial success and freedom.

Last time I spoke to my father, he made it very clear to me he wants me out of his life. I am dead to him, but the universe works in mysterious ways and on this Day of the Dead I gave my father a grandson, a precious life.  He might never meet him or he might come around. I gave him a special birthday gift, he won’t care to open. I found out he knew of the birth of my son and that there was no emotion. I learned to stop looking for something that is just not there. Every time I try to make peace with him, I end up more disappointed and the emotional fight leaves me devastated. I learned that I owe it to myself to live an emotionally safe life and that if I know something hurts me, I need to stop looking for it. It doesn’t matter who he is, I don’t deserve it. I have a wonderful husband and now two wonderful sons. I have amazing friends that have become my family. I am loved.

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My two sons

So why do I still feel? I feel because I only know one father. I feel because all I wanted was to be a daddy’s girl. I feel because his words hurt me. I feel because I wanted to make him proud. Maybe, just maybe he would stop hating me so much. I feel because I cannot imagine treating my children that way. I feel because I am a good human being.

My son Julian has a special birthday. I will not say I hope things change because I’ve been down that road too many times, but it is a day that will continue to be alive in my heart. It will be a day to celebrate so much life.

In the meantime this family will rest, love, and soak in all the wonderful things the universe has given us.

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My beautiful family

Esperando con Anciedad: 39 semanas

¿Cuándo llegará mi bebé?

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Se aproxima la fecha pero yo ya quiero tener a mi bebé.

Yo no he sido de mucha paciencia para abrir regalos, empezar a comer, y sobre todo esperar 9 meses para poder abrazar a mi bebé. La espera me mata. Ya quiero tener a mi bebé, pero todo a su debido tiempo.

Llevo ya unas semanas sintiendo dolores pero nada que dure lo suficiente para decir, “¡ya es hora!”

Mañana llegan unas amigas a quedarse conmigo unos días para ayudarme con mi hijo y con los quehaceres de la casa. Estoy tan agradecida con esas personas que me han apoyado durante este embarazo.

Inicialmente me dijeron que me aliviaría el 30 de octubre (mañana) pero hace dos semanas me informaron que mi fecha es para el 3 de noviembre. Al principio me sentí como que me agregaron un año, pero ya me he resignado a que va a llegar cuando él quiera, aunque de todos modos intentaré otras cositas.

Mañana tengo cita con el Dr. y me van a despegar las membranas. Desde hace dos semanas estoy dilatada 3cm pero quisieron esperar hasta que tuviera 39 semanas. Dicen que este procedimiento es un poco doloroso pero que esa misma noche me puedo aliviar. Vamos a intentar eso ya que también mi bebé corre riesgo de infección y lo más rápido que nazca, mejor.

Con mi primer hijo, me alivié 3 días antes de la fecha que me dijeron pero tuve un parto de 22 horas. Ahora no importa si se tarda pero que sea más rápido.

Se dicen que hay varias maneras de provocar los dolores pero es importante de consultar al doctor antes de hacer cualquiera de estas cosas:

caminar

subir y bajar escaleras

comer comida picosa

sexo – la esperma ayuda a dilatar el cerviz

orgasmo

manejar en terracería o una calle con muchos bordos

columpiarse

vinagre balsámico – me encanta en ensaladas

oregano

ponerse a gatas y mover las caderas

hacer sentadillas

meditar, respirar profundo e imaginar que se abre el cerviz y que el bebé se baja

Muchas de estas cosas serían muy dolorosas si las hago, con eso de mi dolor de caderas y con mi ulcera, así que trataré algunas cosas y si no seré paciente.

Ya tenemos todo preparado. Es increíble la diferencia de mi primer embarazo. Con mi primer hijo queríamos comprar TODO, pero ahora nos damos cuenta que un bebé no requiere de tantas cosas.

Claro, tenemos suerte que va a ser niño otra vez porque usará muchas cosas de su hermano mayor. Otra cosa que nos ayuda es el usar pañales de tela, ya que uno se ahorra como $1,000 al año!! Es tan fácil y la verdad me gusta más que pañales desechables, y no está nada mal de que ayudamos al medio ambiente.

Mi hijo pregunta que porque hay otra silla en el carro. Le decimos que es para su hermanito pero señala a mi pancita y dice que ahí está su hermanito. Va a hacer un cambio muy drástico para él pero de verlo como es tan tierno con otros bebés y con sus muñequitos de peluche me hace sentir tranquila.

Por cierto no hemos dicho como le pondremos al bebé, así que lo diré: se llamará Julian Zander Hernández 🙂 Nos tomó mucho tiempo para decidir el nombre. Otros candidatos eran Sebastian, Atzín, y tantos otros más. Nos encanta el nombre Julián porque se oye bonito en inglés y en español. Y el nombre de Zander, pues queríamos Julián Alexander, pero hay tantos Alex que decidimos usar la forma moderna y con “z”.

Ya estamos listos bebé así que ya te queremos conocer.

Chiropractor, Pelvic Pain, Due Date

Everyday I get asked how I’m feeling and I can’t help to answer with a “fine” because no one wants to hear a pregnant woman complain about pregnancy symptoms. The truth is I’m not fine.

I have been in pain more than half of my pregnancy. The hip and pelvic discomfort have made it difficult to do many everyday things. I’ve tried to ignore the painful symptoms and enjoy this pregnancy because I’m feeling it might be my last!

Last month I did one of those chiropractor screenings in search of some relieve. During the screening they told me I was putting over 5 lbs. on my left hip. I went in for a further evaluation and although they could not perform and x-ray, the Dr. felt my hips were lose not only due to the hormone relaxin, but because after I gave birth to my first son, my hips never really went back to their place. This caused them to pinch a nerve and that’s what was causing the pain.

For a week I went in everyday to get adjusted and for the last two weeks I’ve been going every other day. Chiropractic treatment has REALLY helped me and I’m only sorry I didn’t seek treatment earlier.

It also turned out that the chiropractor is the dad of a former student from my first year of teaching. This helped with the treatment cost and made me feel very comfortable.

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So the hip pain is gone, but now I have a new enemy… Symphisis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD), pelvic pain. The symphysis pubis is a joint that connects the pelvis and again good old hormone relaxin has softened the ligaments.

Symptoms:

back pain, pelvic girdle pain, and hip pain,

grinding or clicking sensation

pain down inner thigh, made worse by parting your legs, walking, going up and down stairs or moving around in bed

worst pain is at night and can prevent from sleeping well, getting up to pee…

overall… damn painful

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My chiropractor is working on this and I hope I get some relieve so I can get at least a good night’s sleep before baby comes.

This leads me to the question “When is baby getting here?”

Soon I hope!

Last week I went in for what I thought would be my 36 week check up to find out they had moved all of my appointments, canceled that one, and changed my due date to Nov. 3rd!!

That’s only 4 or 5 days more, but for me they felt like a year. I can’t believe that up until 35 weeks they were going by Oct. 30 as my due date. I don’t understand what they did. I know my body and I’m having this baby in October, and all this discomfort will be worth it.

31 Week Update

It’s been a month since my last post! I have been busy with several projects, including my side invitation business and a small living room redecorating project.

I went to the Dr. last week and they measured me and everything seems to be growing just fine. Jayden went with me and he loves to listen to the baby’s heartbeat.

I lost 2 lbs since my last visit. I have been eating but very small meals close together. I mostly snack because I get full so easily. It must be because the baby is squishing my stomach (and bladder). Yes, I go to the bathroom every 15 minutes, especially since I’m drinking so much water because It’s been nice and warm.

There is something that is bothering me this time around and it makes my days and nights longer and painful. I have been dealing with severe hip and lower back pain for the last two months. Apparently my hips have loosened and this has caused them to fall out of their place. I like to picture it as a dangling drumstick off of a whole chicken.

Although my belly is not that big, I am walking like a penguin or a duck. It has been very difficult staying home with Jayden. I can’t lift him at all. This has limit our outings. I can’t really go anywhere because I have to lift him up to put him in the carseat, or shopping cart. He has had so much energy and has stopped napping during the day because we no longer go to the park. By night time I am completely exhausted and in pain.

They’re short-handed at the restaurant so DH has been staying late. When he is home, he has to do laundry and give Jayden a bath. He has been a great helper.

When it’s time to go to bed I don’t go to sleep right away because I can’t find a sleeping position that is not painful. The ideal way to sleep would be on my back or my tummy, but I obviously can’t do that. When I lay on my back, I get light-headed and the baby starts kicking a lot. Sleeping on my side is very painful because of the pressure on the hips. I do have a Leacho Snoogle Total Body Pillow

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but there are a few things wrong with it. One, after a month of use, it has gone flat. I have to put pillows under it to lift it. Two, it does not alleviate the hip pain as my legs are not parallel. As you can see in the picture the ankles come down and at night they cross of touch. It doesn’t matter if I put a pillow between my legs and knees, if I don’t prop the ankles I will wake up with pain. So you can imagine the complete barrier I create before I can go to sleep. It because the Great Wall of China by the time I’m through and wake up with sometimes no pillows because the DH gets too hot and moves them. Third, I get nightmares when I sleep with this pillow. It might sound silly to you but it’s true. I wake up after being chased, in car accidents, fire, you name it. My dreams have been very crazy.

So whoever said that the second pregnancy is easier than the first is totally wrong. I won’t know if the 3rd is any worse or easier either!

There are times when I’m feeling brave and I go on walks even if I know I’ll be in pain later. I just can’t be stuck at home without any outside interaction. One can only take so much letters of the alphabet, children’s books, songs, numbers and colors!

I have a feeling Jayden has a sense that our whole world will change in a couple of months. He comes up to me and kisses my belly because he sees his daddy do it when he comes home from work, but he says it’s mommy’s panza (belly). He says he wants a baby and is very caring with his stuffed animals, but I don’t know if he knows there’s a baby in mommy’s belly. I know he will be an amazing big brother, but it won’t be until we have baby here at home that reality will struck.

In the meantime we are making sure we spend daddy’s days off to be together and show our Jay man a lot of love. When baby arrives we’ll make sure daddy and I have some Jay time while one of us stays with baby.

Next entry I’ll tell you guys about our baby name debate. I’m getting tired of referring to baby as, well baby.

I’ll leave you with a pic of me at 31 weeks  🙂

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Bebé #2

No he escrito nada sobre la futura llegada de nuestro segundo bebé. Y para ser sincera se me ha ido tan rápido el tiempo, que me acaba de dar cuenta que tengo 26 semanas. En 14 semanas conocerémos a nuestro bebé a quien esperamos con mucho amor.

Me he sentido muy bien y me encanta verme en el espejo. Algo de estar embarazada me hace sentir aún más bella y me anima toda las mañanas. Me doy cuenta de el gran milagro que es tener un ser pequeñito creciendo dentro de mi. También, me pongo a pensar de como ha cambiado mi vida y todo lo que he vivido en mis 26 años de edad.

El 1er Trimestre

El primer trimestre fue un poco difícil. Era cuando me estaba arreglando los dientes y viajaba a San Diego cada mes. No me había dado cuenta que estaba embarazada y cuando lo supe temía tantas cosas. Decidimos no decirle a nadie hasta que tuviéramos 3 meses de gestación. Mi primer embarazo no se logró hace tres años y el miedo no se borra aún cuando tuve un embarazo sano que me dio a un hermoso hijo.

Esta vez me dieron unos ascos y mareos espantosos. Con el simple hecho de ver, me daba asco las cosas. Bajé mucho de peso porque solo podía comer ciertas cosas. Estaba en peligro de anemia porque me mareaba mucho y mis encías estaban blancas. Los ascos me daban con todo. Tuve que sacar todos los zapatos de la casa porque el olor a piel, plástico y hule me hacían correr al baño. Pobre de mi cuando tenía que cambiarle el pañal a mi niño. Cuando le preguntaban que como le hacía mamá, el contestaba “guac.”

Nuevamente no fui al doctor hasta después de las 10 semanas. Cuando vi a mi bebé en el ultrasonido vi que nuevamente me esperaba un bebé fuerte y con muchas ganas de vivir.

Poco a poco empezamos a anunciarle a nuestra familia de la noticia y muchos empezaron a adivinar que iba a tener. Que por cierto muchos dijeron que iba a tener niña. Yo desde un principio supe que yo sería madre de dos varoncitos. Pero yo solo lo que pedía y pido es un bebé sano.

El 2ndo Trimestre

Repito, que se me ha ido tan rápido todo que me temo no tener mucha información del progreso. En cuanto supe ya estaba en mis últimas semanas del segundo trimestre. Ya aquí fue dónde tuve un antojo grande y que yo temía nunca se me fuera a cumplir… Corundas!

Este antojito Michoacano me estaba volviendo loca. Cada planta que miraba yo me imaginaba corundas envueltitas y listas para comer. Le platiqué a mi mamá de mi antojo y ella le comentó a mi abuelita. Cuando regresó un tío de México mi querida Mamá Juana me mandó mi bultito de corundas.

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En cuanto las recibí las calenté en un comal y me preparé una salsita roja para acompañarlas. Me arrimé un Coca y las prepare con su cremita. La primera mordida sentí tantas cosas que no pude contener las lágrimas. Era la mejor sensación del mundo. Ahora entiendo lo que significa la satisfacción del paladar.

Las lagrimas me corrían mientras me saboreaba las corundas que mi viejecita me había hecho con sus manitas. Las mismas manos que criaron a mi madrecita. La emoción fue muy grande y es algo que nunca voy a olvidar. Tendré que ir a Michoacán para ver a mis viejitos y darle un abrazo muy fuerte a mi Mamá Juana por haberme cumplido mi más grande antojo.

Hoy

Hoy me encuentro sintiéndome muy bien. La semana pasada no podía decir lo mismo. Después de un viaje al acuario con mi esposo y mi niño me dio un dolor de caderas que me impidió caminar por toda una semana. La doctora ya me había dicho que con este embarazo mis caderas se estaban abriendo mas y que tenía que tener cuidado cuando cargara a mi niño. Hubo muchas ocasiones donde no hice caso y lo cargaba para ver a los peces. Eso y la falta de soporte de calzado me obligaron a quedarme en cama durante una semana.

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Aquí estoy desobedeciendo órdenes de la Dra. y cargando a m niño muy feliz.

Así es amigos, nuevamente seré mamá y estoy muy ansiosa de conocer y tener a mi bebé aquí conmigo.

Tick Tock…

Originally Posted on:

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The clock is ticking and so is my heart. It can happen ANY day now. I’m so nervous, anxious, and yes why not? scared. On March 25th I went to the Dr. and she checked me. She told me I was 2 almost 3 cm dilated and 50% effaced. It really doesn’t mean I’ll be going into labor anytime soon, but at least I know I can stretch and open. (I know it sounds gross.)

My DH wants baby Jayden to arrive on Cinco de Mayo. No, I don’t think it’s because it’s a Mexican celebration, I think it’s because one, his favorite number is “5,” two, it’s the anniversary of his father’s death. I have no idea why he would want that but he’s always been very reserved about his feelings toward his father’s death.I have no preference as long as it’s soon! In the mean time I’m doing a lot of walking.

Tick tock the clock is ticking and soon it’ll be time for us to meet our bundle of joy!

background and a little more

Originally Posted on:

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Finally! I have decided to write something. I think I’ve had this blog set up over a year ago but have not written anything. Why? I don’t know why.Initially I set one up because I was inspired by my best friend Alicia. I wanted to follow her blog and be up-to-date with her wonderful adventure of moving to another country. Then I wanted to write a pregnancy blog…Yep! I’m pregnant! It feels a little silly to announce it so far into my pregnancy, but I have my reasons. It’s never a bad time to start writing my thoughts right? So here I go. I must warn you it’s better for me to write how I feel so If you know me you’ll know how sincere, true and honest this is because I don’t usually go around telling people what’s up with my life especially what you’re about to read. So here it is.Almost a year ago I had a miscarriage that left me…well depressed. I made the mistake of announcing it so early that at only 7 weeks my little one decided not to continue growing inside me. I was heartbroken. My husband and I were devastated for months to come. After four years of being together it felt right. We wanted to be parents. I didn’t want to hear anything from anyone. I wanted to be alone. There really isn’t ANYTHING you can say to a couple that goes through a miscarriage. The worst mistake is for someone to say “You’ll eventually have another baby.” It’s obvious we wanted THIS baby, but I don’t blame them. They didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what I wanted to hear. So I mourned. I cried. I doubted God. I hated all pregnant women. I hated my body for not keeping my baby. I couldn’t stand my husband’s sad face. I fell apart for as long as I needed to.

Then summer came and there’s something about summer that just brings me to life. We went out a lot. I dyed my hair blond. I continued exercising and lost weight. I felt good about myself after so long. We moved to another house. We kept busy.

Then…yep early September I realized I hadn’t gotten my period. I didn’t want to think of the possibility of being pregnant. Really? Could it be? No… I refused to take a pregnancy test. I discussed it with my husband and he too agreed it was safe to wait a week before I did any testing. So mid September came and no period. I finally bought a pregnancy test and I remember I was shaking. “Positive” it read. After that I think I was floating. I didn’t feel anything. I went numb. My husband was the same way. We kept our mouths shut and boy did our life change. All I could think of was when is it going to die inside me? It can’t be true. God had forgotten me. Could it be? Every night I would pray, I would cry. I could only talk to my husband about it. Finally at 11 weeks I decided to go to the doctor. Don’t get me wrong, I was taking good care of myself. I had never stopped taking my prenatal. I stopped drinking. I wanted this baby.

After seeing my little bean I felt it. It is real. I’m going to be a mommy! I had terrible morning sickness. I felt I couldn’t complain because I wanted to be pregnant. Now it seems so long ago that I couldn’t stand onions, or the refrigerator. I worked and worked, ate healthy, exercised. Thought about my baby. When we found out we were having a boy I couldn’t wait to go shopping for clothes. When I switched doctor and got a midwife, I felt everything was going to be all right. When we signed up and completed our Child Preparation Course, I felt I was prepared. When we got a 4D ultrasound, I finally put a face to my little boy. I had four amazing showers and our apartment got full of wonderful baby stuff. Now we wait. My due date is May 16, but the DH believes baby will surprise us sooner. He wants the baby to come on Cinco de Mayo!

Like I’ve said. I should have started a pregnancy blog sooner that way my entries wouldn’t be this long, but I’m going to let you in on a secret. I never thought I would make it this far. Yes, I was scared.

Thankfully everything is going great. I’m healthy and our baby boy is healthy too. I’m 36 weeks and our baby Jayden should be arriving in a few weeks. I haven’t received much support from my side of my family for reasons I’m sure I’ll discuss in later entries, but oh my, have we received so much love and support from friends, and co-workers. We are very thankful and if I’m happy now I can’t wait to feel the absolute feeling of happiness when my baby is finally in my arms.