Labor and Delivery: a special birthday

Our baby boy is finally here!

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Julian Zander Hernandez

Born 11/2/13 at 3:00 a.m.

7lbs. 12 oz.

20.25 in.

The labor journey…

began on Friday Nov. 1st. I woke up and as I was walking around the house I felt a trickle. My water had broken, or so I thought. This pregnancy I came out positive for GBS. I had to go directly to the hospital the moment I suspected my water had broken, so I didn’t put the baby at risk and they could put me on antibiotics. At around 10 am my husband took me to the hospital with absolutely no pain, just the suspicion of my water breaking.

Rewind to Wednesday… I had an appointment with my midwife and there she did a sweeping of the membranes, where she “swept” a finger around my cervix to separate the membranes of the amniotic sac. This releases a hormone and there is a possibility of going into labor. The exam was pretty much like any internal examination, when it came to pain. I went home with some cramping but that was it. During the next days I kept discharging my mucus plug.

Thursday… I took my son trick or treating downtown and did a lot of walking! That night my friends, who had come to spend some days with me in case I went into labor, my son and I had a little dance party. We danced and I even attempted to twerk all in efforts to induce labor.

Back to Friday… My midwife arrived and she did a strip test, inconclusive. She did a vaginal check and she saw water alright. Results, negative for amniotic fluid. She wanted to be 99.9% sure before she sent me back home. Now, during all of this I wasn’t feeling any strong contractions, and the ones I was feeling were about 6 minutes apart. She ran a third test and sent it to the lab and we had to wait. The tests came back negative and we were sent back home. It ended up being very watery mucus plug. It fooled me and it also fooled my midwife.

My friend who was watching my son stayed and we even had dinner and chatted. I had contractions but they weren’t consistent. Then, around 10pm BAM! I felt a really strong contraction. I thought it was still Braxton Hicks so like all the other ones, I tested it out by hopping in the shower. I wasn’t even in the shower when BAM! Another one. Three minutes had passed and BAM! 3 minutes later BAM! it went on pretty much like that for a while and I new I was in labor. We immediately rushed to the hospital.

Checking in

We arrived at the hospital around 11:20pm and they put the monitors and contractions were getting stronger and stronger. They were now about 2 1/2 minutes apart. My midwife came in and checked me. I was 6cm dilated and 90% effaced. It was all happening so fast, but I did want to have this baby and it was sure beating my first labor of 22 hours!

I was very relaxed and would even joke around between contractions, to why the nurses were very surprised when I asked for the epidural. I wanted it so badly even before I went into labor. I just wanted to be numbed from my waist down. I had endured all that pelvic and hip pain during pregnancy that it hurt more to move around and the contractions were not overpowering it. I was feeling both. I am not trying to prove anything and I don’t need to play strong. I have endured an 18hour labor without pain medication. This second time around, I wanted the epidural and I got it.

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Yay for the epidural!

I had my IV, antibiotics, epidural and I was set to wait, maybe even sleep a little. Well, there was no time for that. I got checked around 1:30 a.m. and I was 8cm dilated. I felt a lot of pressure and the epidural was wearing off quickly. I didn’t ask for another dose and was fine with having feeling. I was checked and I was 10cm and felt even more pressure. At around 2:45 a.m. They broke my water, which turned out to be like one of those water shows. TMI but it was really cool. There could have been a possibility of baby being born in the bag and it is said to be very very lucky! But we wanted to have that baby now. With only a couple of pushes baby was born at exactly 3 a.m.

Within minutes I breast fed my baby for the first time and I was one happy mother! I got to hold my baby for more than an hour skin to skin, breastfeeding and feeling him while my husband and I flourished our miracle. I had other feelings that were dwelling inside of me too, realizing the day this miracle took place.

Special Birthday

My son was born on November 2nd, the same day as my estranged father. Knowing that my son was born on the same day as the father that pushed me out of his life less than a year ago for the 2nd time, filled me with many emotions. He wasn’t there for my first pregnancy and wasn’t there for this one either. My oldest son has his nose and a lot of his physical characteristics and now my youngest shares his birthday. I don’t know if this is karma, a life lesson, nor do I know to whom the universe talks.

For many years, even before my parents’ divorce, I sought a relationship with my father but his harmful words and both of our prides would make it nearly impossible. Sure, we had some great moments, but I am also the oldest, therefore I remember more than my siblings. I remember his drinking, his insults and the way he treated my mom, the physical violence and his double personality.

With others my father was an awesome person, I will never say otherwise. He was a funny man, loved to be in social events and made everyone laugh. People would always say how lucky we were to have such a fun dad. At home, we didn’t get the funny man everyone saw. We got a man who would throw it in our face each meal he bought, the roof he gave us, the gas he wasted driving us around and how we got in the way of his financial success and freedom.

Last time I spoke to my father, he made it very clear to me he wants me out of his life. I am dead to him, but the universe works in mysterious ways and on this Day of the Dead I gave my father a grandson, a precious life.  He might never meet him or he might come around. I gave him a special birthday gift, he won’t care to open. I found out he knew of the birth of my son and that there was no emotion. I learned to stop looking for something that is just not there. Every time I try to make peace with him, I end up more disappointed and the emotional fight leaves me devastated. I learned that I owe it to myself to live an emotionally safe life and that if I know something hurts me, I need to stop looking for it. It doesn’t matter who he is, I don’t deserve it. I have a wonderful husband and now two wonderful sons. I have amazing friends that have become my family. I am loved.

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My two sons

So why do I still feel? I feel because I only know one father. I feel because all I wanted was to be a daddy’s girl. I feel because his words hurt me. I feel because I wanted to make him proud. Maybe, just maybe he would stop hating me so much. I feel because I cannot imagine treating my children that way. I feel because I am a good human being.

My son Julian has a special birthday. I will not say I hope things change because I’ve been down that road too many times, but it is a day that will continue to be alive in my heart. It will be a day to celebrate so much life.

In the meantime this family will rest, love, and soak in all the wonderful things the universe has given us.

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My beautiful family

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One thought on “Labor and Delivery: a special birthday

  1. Congratulations on your baby boy! He was born on my due date… and my estranged brother’s birthday. I haven’t talked to him in years, but I don’t expect things to change, because I’ve reached the same level of understanding you have regarding your father.
    Funny, my dad has that double personality as well. He’s fun, caring and obliging to everyone else, but with his family he’s pretty reserved and gets angry easily, often saying very hurtful stuff. He’s not as bad as your dad, though, and I’ve learned a way of having a relationship with him that suits us both.
    So anyway, congratulations on your son and on your wisdom. It’s okay to have emotions (it wouldn’t be okay *not* to have them); just accept them and keep going onwards 🙂

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